


The Slash Sheriff

by ElizaStyx



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Castiel is a seductive douche, Castiel porn writer, Choices, Comedy, Crack, Falling In Love, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Hipster Castiel, Human Castiel, Humour, I'm probably having too much fun, Loss of Powers, M/M, Masturbation, Poetic, Romance, Saving the World, Smut, Snow, Writing, castiel novak - Freeform, cuteness, dean winchester the slash sheriff, dramatic plot twists, egotic Cas, gay virgin Dean, one character unmentioned to avoid spoilers, poetic bullshit, porn writers, porn writing, scratching the fourth wall, slash sheriff, supernatural Dean, you will puke rainbows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-29
Updated: 2014-11-03
Packaged: 2018-02-16 09:54:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2265327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElizaStyx/pseuds/ElizaStyx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester was always meant to be someone special. He was born and raised to become a mighty creature known by the name of a Slash Sheriff, the warden of the anatomical accuracy of sex descriptions.<br/>His life is not a bed of roses though. It's a neverending tale of torment and yelling at teenage virgin straight girls who have no idea how the buttholes really work.<br/>Slowly he becomes depressed, orbiting to suicidal when one day he hears something unbelievable on his inner gay porn radio.<br/>He hears a good slash fiction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *NOW COMPLETE*  
> Inspired by this post http://tarteauxfraises.tumblr.com/post/54808441499  
> Castiel in this fic is loosely based on my super-hipster-poetic-manly-skillful ex-crush who is an annoying and sexy little shit :3

_His rear tunnel of love was pre-moistened and I..._

The door slammed loudly and the author turned around only to find herself inches from a very red and very angry face of a man she had never seen before.  
"Buttholes." he hissed. "Don't. Work. That. Way."  
The girl fainted.

***

Dean Winchester was a Slash Sheriff and his life sucked. He was listening to shitty gay porn 24/7 on his inner radio and he couldn't really turn it off, forced to listen to the childish voices of the proud authors reading their stories to themselves as they wrote them. He was doing all of this to search for the crime that incorrect descriptions of sex were.  
It was his purpose.

He hated it.

Fangirls had generally no idea how anything worked and they eagerly proved that in their works. There were millions of them and they were unstoppable.  
Years have passed since he had heard a proper story for the last time.

It was so depressing.

Evertyhing though became two-fold worse when the SV TV started emitting that shitty series about those Smith & Wesson dudes. Seriously, no other show provoked as many homosexual fantasies amongst young people as this one. When the first ones started being written down, Dean already knew he was screwed but he didn't foresee what would happen when they added this third guy, Kovalsky, to this horrible, terrible product of someones twisted mind.  
He started drinking. A lot.

It didn't really help.

Now he was sitting on his battered couch after the rutine intervention, staring in the space, again listening to what was being written by all those sadists with innocent faces when he heard something different. 

A good porn. Read in a male voice.

"Holy fuck..." Dean stood up, almost tripping the table over.

***

Castiel Novak was one of those men whose age was always a great mystery for those who passed him on the street. If you had asked him how old he was though, he would look at you with his creepily blue eyes and say something like  _Thirty three years, two months, one day, three hours and fifteen minutes_ because that was the most exact answer he could give you.

He was always glad to be precise.

In the moment he decided to become a porn writer he was exactly three weeks from becoming thirty four and it had nothing to do with his decision. In fact, the only thing that had anything to do with the sudden change of his career path was this show that one of his annoying co-workers blabbed so much about. She just wouldn't shut up so he sacrificed some of his precious time to sit down and watch the pilot.  
He wouldn't admit it in a million years to her but he actually loved it.

And Castiel Novak had no history of abusing the word 'love'.

The characters and their dynamics were so fascinating that he spent the whole night watching the rest of the first season and continued missing on the sleep in the next days only to watch as much as he could. Of course she, that devoted fan of the show, had to notice that something was very off since he looked even more wasted than usually adding scruff to his strange grey sweaters, hipster glasses and those dark, ever-messy hair. She always noticed when something changed and honestly, Castiel only hated that woman more with every cup of tea she made to make him feel better.

Castiel Novak needed no nanny.

Everything was still fitting the definition of slight, yet not unhealthy obsession until he reached season four and his world exploded when Carlos Kovalsky met Dan Smith face to face for the first time. Castiel sat there with his mouth agape as the sexual tension almost flooded him out and left him blinking with shock and really wanting those two to make out on screen.  
That was utterly terrifying.  
Castiel finished the episode and sat there in the darkness for a fair amount of time until his reasonable side gave up and he reached for his laptop. He needed Dan and Carlos to make out now. He needed fanfiction.  
An hour later he found himself disturbingly aroused and disgusted at the same time.

Something was wrong with all those pieces he had read.

Castiel Novak didn't have much of sexual experience of his own as he hadn't really met anyone who would match his standards but he instinctually knew that the real thing didn't work the way those authors described it.  
He felt the familiar sense of mission.

***

Dean Winchester couldn't contain all his emotions. He adjusted his hair and clothes and then zapped himself to the place where the perfect description of anal sex was being born.  
He found himself in a smoky room stuffed with old furniture, books, clocks and strange brass devices. The old parquet squeeked under his boots and he heard a movement.  
The smoke started fading and soon he found himself facing a man who owned a pair of the most piercing blue eyes Dean had ever seen.

He was sitting on a chair that must have remembered his great granfather, he was wearing big glasses, loose sweater of a strange shape and he had a pipe in his hand. He didn't look too shocked by Dean's presence, he just measured the intruder with a careful gaze and slowly let a ring of smoke out of his mouth, closing his eyes. There was a very specific aura about him and Dean immediately felt lost.

"How can I help you?" asked the man after a while, smiling politely.  
He had a really deep low voice and Dean forgot his own name.


	2. Chapter 2

The blue-eyed man looked at Dean with polite interest, the slight impatience hidden right underneath his skin. Dean gulped.  
"I came here to thank you and well, congratulate you." he smiled sheepishly.  
"What for?" the man raised his brow.  
"I am Dean Winchester, the Slash Sheriff and you, mister, are currently writing the first good piece of porn I have read in years." Dean recited.  
"Oh." he frowned, taking off his glasses, his eyes becoming even more intensively blue when not hidden underneath them. "How do you...?"  
Dean could swear that the man actually blushed a little.  
"I am the Slash Sheriff and I know everything about what is being written by whom." he tried to sound proud of his powers but it probably didn't really work out.  
"I see..." the man tapped his finger on his chin. "I am Castiel Novak." he reached towards Dean after a while.  
"You have no idea how nice it is to meet you." Dean grinned with relief and shook that warm and firm hand.

They held hands for an awkwardly long while and then looked at each other, parting as if they were splashed with cold water.  
"So..." Castiel grunted. "You are like the butt sex police?"  
"Technically yes." Dean shrugged, blushing. "Shitty work, let me tell you."  
"I see..." Castiel rubbed his chin, letting his natural curiosity take over. "This basically means you know everything about anal, right?"  
"Well, they've been teaching me for ten years about all the nuances, all the possibilities and borders of human body in terms of sex, so yeah, I know quite a lot." Dean nodded, his cheeks still flushed. "It's funny though how little practise I have, my work is all but fucking and fun." the words escaped his mouth before he realised he was saying a bit too much.  
"Seriously?" Castiel raised his brows, smirking with amusement. "So you are like a virgin encyclopedia od gay sex..."  
"If you have to put it that way..." Dean narrowed his eyes, not really enjoying the investigation. "I've heard enough shitty porn to be cockblocked for the next decade. You would be too, I guarantee you."  
"I know." Castiel nodded. "I've tried reading some fanfiction. Terryfying."  
"Imagine being forced to deal with those 24/7 then." Dean rubbed his temples. "And no way to trun it off."  
"Now that sucks." Castiel frowned as he actually started feeling sympathy towards this pretty and bizzare stranger. "No way to make it better?"  
"Well, actually there is one thing that helps." Dean concentrated. "If I am close to one author, his writing mutes the other ones so I can clearly hear everything he puts down."  
"That is something." Castiel pouted his lips. "Are you feeling better around me?"  
"Yeah, actually a lot, even despite the fact that you actually stopped working." Dean admitted, trying to not look in those eyes.  
"What can I say then?" Castiel stretched his whole body while still sitting on the chair. "I feel like being a good person today, you can stay as long as you want when I'm writing. You really look like you could use some vacation, man."  
Dean looked at him with big eyes but Castiel just smiled crookedly and returned to his computer.

As if Dean wasn't just a random dude who started their talk from the topic of gay porn.

***

Everything was going perfectly fine as the standard of Dean's life dramatically increased. Whenever he felt overwhelmed by the general lack of basic knowledge amongst the authors, he could just come and sit on the sofa behind Castiel's back and watch him work.  
It was so calming to hear the good descriptions at first but as the time was passing by and the trauma surrounding all the aspects of Dean's sexual life faded, Dean started feeling something more.

He felt arousal.

It was a funny and unfamiliar feeling but he could not ignore the fact that his cock started demanding attention at the very sound of Castiel's voice. It was also really embrassing. Castiel could not read minds but he was observant enough and as little attention as he normally paid to Dean was enough for him to notice the change in Dean's posture.  
It was flattering.

Castiel Novak considered himself self-aware while he was rather egotic and enjoyed when people worshipped him. Dean's reaction was a definite proof of Castiel's perfection.

Until few days after the discovery Castiel was rather far away from reality when writing, letting Dean do whatever he wanted, which was usually sitting on the sofa and listening to his works, but it started growing on him. He really wanted to seize the opportunity and use Dean's knowledge to learn things he didn't manage to do reasearch on yet.

Besides, Dean really was a handsome man and it was a sin letting him rot alone like that.

"Dean..." he begun one day, completely surprising Winchester who was trying to tame his growing erection with the sheer willpower.  
"Yes, Cas?" Dean blushed, trying to look comfortable as if he didn't have any suspicious bulges to hide.  
"What can you tell me about rimming?" Castiel sounded professionally interested.  
"What?" Dean blushed harder, his dick telling him he should totally make this talk go in a typical fanfiction way.  
"Rimming." Castiel repeated patiently, turning to him on his ancient chair. "You know, basically fucking someone's asshole with the tongue."  
"Well..." Dean gulped nervously, trying to calm himself down as the question really didn't sound like flirting. "First of all, no matter how hard you want it to sound poetic, it never actually tastes like fruits, sea or other romantic sweet stuff. Unless you put some of those in first. It usually doesn't smell like flowers either. One more important thing, you can't really..." Dean's voice diminished as Castiel stood up and approached him.

"Did you have any practical exams?" he asked, his low voice evoking the memories of the last pieces he wrote.  
Dean swallowed hard, not intending to admit that he really was a one hundred percent virgin. A very horny virgin at that specific moment.  
"How about me taking an exam then?" Castiel's pupils were dilated. "You will give me a note. I'll see how this really works and you will tell me if I did everything alright, okay?"

Dean was dumbstruck. It didn't really seem like reality, Castiel offering to rim him for what seemed to be purely scientific purposes. He blinked few times, trying to proceed all the weirdness while his whole body was screaming yes.  
Castiel cocked his head, looking him in the eyes and smiling in a way that resembled politeness. As if he asked him for a pen, not an access to his butthole and participation in a sexual act.  
"I... I..." Dean knew that his cheeks were burning red.  
"Just say yes." Castiel's voice was the opposite of his looks, almost a whisper, trembling with lust.  
"Oh, fuck." Dean squeeked and disappeared with a silent puff.


	3. Chapter 3

Dean did not come back on the next day and also in the next two weeks. It was so hard to return to the life he led before he met Castiel Novak but he just couldn't face that man for the reasons he didn't entirely understand. He just couldn't.

And Castiel was not helping.

He still was writing good porn, even better than before and Dean was still hearing it as if it was this only spark of light in the dark void of the cruel universe. It was literally tearing him to shreds because he yearned the relief it could give him, he needed it to the point where he almost didn't care for the consequences of anything that could occur if he appeared in Castiel's room once again. Almost.  
Dean was still able to fight it despite his lack of faith in his own strength. That awful show went on hiatus without any huge blast in the finale so the amount of shit being written was fairly normal and bearable. Everything was bearable with enough whiskey in the equation.

At least that was what Dean thought until the most fateful week of his life begun.

First blow came from Castiel's direction. Dean felt that something had changed but he couldn't quite put his finger on it until he finally decided to listen closely.  
Castiel gave up on his usual pairing.  
Castiel started writing porn about Dean and himself.  
As soon as Dean realised what was happening, he blushed actually planning on backing away but... eventually staying for a longer while to listen because it was just so fascinating.

Dean Winchester was generally a modest guy so hearing Castiel describe him as some kind of sexy god was already enough for his cheeks to become flushed.  
And then the porny part came and Dean was holding his breath afraid to move, totally petrified by Castiel's words that were obviously promises. Castiel was totally trying to lure him back and Dean was soon so close to falling into that trap.  
It was so tempting to break one more rule first though.  
One of the powers that Slash Sheriff possessed was an ability to invade the author's mind. Of course he wasn't technically allowed to do this since it wasn't neccessary for his job and it was just uncultured but it would allow him to see Castiel's visions, the way he imagined all that he was putting down and hell, if it wasn't the most tempting thing in the whole universe...

Dean told himself that he totally shouldn't do it.

Dean told himself that he totally had to do this.

He did.

Entering Castiel's mind was like a forbidden trip to a strip club, exciting and extremaly titillating.  
The visions flooded Dean's mind like a drug that started working. He could totally feel Castiel's arousal when he was imagining them fucking so hard that their bodies were almost being torn apart. Castiel was incredibly good at keeping everything just on the edge of realism, pushing the borders exactly to the limit, knowing where human possibilities end and Dean had never met any other author who could play with fire so skillfully.

It was so sexy that Dean couldn't help moaning and touching himself.

Castiel couldn't see or hear him as Dean's body was still safe in his house while his mind wandered so Dean didn't even try to control himself. He palmed his crotch, crying out like a hurt eagle and feeling the tears gathering in the corners of his eyes as it felt so fucking good after such a long time with a constant cockblock. He unzipped his fly and he just knew that Castiel stopped writing to do exactly the same too lost in his visions to care. Dean could not only still see what Castiel imagined, he could actually feel the sensations coming to Castiel's brain directly from his cock as he touched himself. His own rhythm was synchronised with Castiel's and he was yelping silently every time his sensations doubled with the ones that came from the mind he was so shamellesly exploring.  
Dean felt his orgasm bulding up along with Castiel's, he heard his own name cried out like a broken prayer and the next thing he knew was that he was back in his body and his cum was everywhere, sticking to his fingers and belly.  
In that moment he also realised that he didn't care for all the mess as he hadn't felt so amazing in ages.

***

The second blow was equally as painful as pleasurable the first one was.  
Dean had spent the last four days giving up on his duties and just sitting on his couch to join Castiel in his masturbation adventures with sexual fantasies about them. He was slowly becoming addicted and he didn't give a single fuck.  
Maybe years ago he was still having his inner sense of the mission but now there was no reason to fight any longer. Even the authors who he had visited kept making the same mistakes and it was such a waste of time to try changing anything. The only person woth his attention was Castiel and Dean devoted his whole time to him.  
At least that was the official reason he tried to excuse himself with. He couldn't admit out loud that this was all about Castiel and his dirty mind being so arousing that he really actually started wishing to have sex with him.

Dean Winchester was preparing to pay a visit.

He bought himself some new clothes that fit him like a second skin, he styled his hair, he even considered buying some flowers but eventually didn't do it as it seemed a little too cheesy.  
He was right about to teleport, exhaling sharply and mentally getting ready, when he felt a stab in the back. Not a literal one but well... a literary one.  
The sign that the worst was happening.

Someone was rewriting a shitty fanfic into a book.

It was the biggest defeat a Slash Sheriff could suffer. Dean felt a physical pain that forced the whole air out of his lungs. He bent in half, trying to breathe and think, his face twisted in a grimace of pain as the awful terrifying words resounded in his head muffling all the other writers.  
It was this freaking BDSM story that hadn't let Dean sleep until it had been finished half a year ago. He made a mistake, not caring for the fact that it went viral mostly due to it's unbelievable shittiness and now he was paying for his neglect.

Dean Winchester howled, closing his eyes and grabbing his head, unable to stop the words that were driving him crazy. His whole world was reduced to the tiny sphere of pain wherein the author stung the needless of her twisted vision into his miserable brain.  
He was thrown onto his knees, helpless in his unimaginable torment. His all thoughts were gone except for the last faint memory of salvation that shined only bright enough to pierce through the fog of his misery.

A memory of Castiel Novak, the only person Dean had ever called a friend.


	4. Chapter 4

Castiel was really frustrated. It didn't happen often that he truly wanted someone who actually said no to his advances.  
It was the biggest slap in the face he had ever experienced.  
He was aware of his attractiveness, he knew that his sharp wit and charisma were enough to make people want him, even crave for him and he had never met anyone who wouldn't want him back once he showed a tiniest sign of interest.  
Until now, of course.

Castiel didn't exactly understand the concept of not being perfect in someone's eyes, yet Dean run away from him and didn't come back, as if he wasn't just having any sort of gay panic, as if he **really** didn't want Castiel. This shook the whole delicate ego of the promising author and the biggest egotic of them all. This made him desperate to prove that it was just a game that Dean played to tease him.

He needed Dean to want him and he was determined to make it happen.

That was the reason why he stopped writing the regular fanfiction and started working on those pieces about them together. He didn't expect it to become so addicting though. He had never been so obsessively fantasizing about anyone before. He was thinking about Dean all the time, from the first second after he woke up until the very last before he fell asleep and he was really glad that he gave up on his regular job since it would be very inappropriate to go there with his ridiculous constant hard-on.

He was doing all he could but Dean wasn't coming.

Except for all those times he did in Castiel's fantasies but it obviously wasn't the kind of coming that Castiel wanted to achieve, at least at this point.   
He just really wanted Dean to appear in his room like he did so many times before.

Castiel missed Dean.

To his surprise he discovered that not only because he was in shock after being rejected but also because Dean became a sort of friend who just always is there and with whom staying silent is pleasurable. They didn't talk much and they didn't know each other too well but there was something about Dean that made Castiel accept him as a part of daily life very easily and it hadn't happened so often.  
Castiel simply liked having Dean around.  
Castiel liked knowing that Dean appreciated his writing.  
Castiel liked the way Dean blushed when he wrote something really steamy.

Castiel liked Dean.

But Dean obviously didn't like Castiel so much and it hurt like hell. That was why Castiel was becoming desperate. He sat down with a plan to write a piece that would be generally an awfully humiliating direct plea, when he heard a silent zap he was waiting for since the day Dean disappeared.

He rapidly turned on his chair and froze, seeing Dean curled on the floor in agony. Without any second thoughts he jumped towards him, falling onto his knees and rolling Dean onto his back to look for any wounds.  
"Dean!" he slapped Dean's cheek to check his consciousness.  
"Cas..." Dean opened his eyes, his face a mask of torment and his voice a broken whisper.  
Castiel went from worried to aghast over the curse of one second after he saw the pain so clearly visible in those green eyes that were now fogged, the sight unfocused.  
"Cas..." Dean's voice was husky and fading. "Write porn for me..."  
And then he lost his consciousness.

***

Dean Winchester woke up with a loud squeek ringing in his ears. It was literally as if his brain was reseted and had to start up again. He groaned and rubbed his temples, squeezing his eyes shut, trying to stop this noise with sheer willpower.  
"Dean?" he heard a silent voice, somehow familiar yet changed by the audible worry so much that he didn't recognize it at first.  
He carefully opened one of his eyes and found Castiel's face not so far from his own and with an unusual expression of deep concern.  
"Cas?" he managed to utter, his throat strangely sore.  
"Here." Castiel handed him a glass of water and helped him to sit up as if he was reading Dean's mind.  
Dean was thankful and rapidly emptied the glass, felling slightly better when the cold water flowed through his throat.

Castiel allowed himself to sit down on the edge of the sofa by Dean's side, his eyes still full of worry as he observed Dean drink.  
"What happened?" he asked, taking the empty glass from Dean's hands.  
"I was just..." Dean trembled. "They are making a book out of... this... I don't even know how to call it!" he bursted out. "And I didn't stop them on time! It just hit me so hard I was unable to think. I was in so much pain and I couldn't stop it... Oh God..." he grimaced with such a horror that Castiel's eyes went wide from fear. "I just did the only thing I could to save myself, I run to you. I'm sorry if I scared you." Dean grabbed Castiel's forearm and Castiel shivered a little.

Castiel was still afraid of the very thought of such tortures but he also felt something else, a sting of pride and satisfaction when Dean called him his salvation.  
Dean looked down at his hand on Castiel's arm and raised his head to show a sheepish smile.  
"I wrote as you asked me to." Castiel grunted, feeling the heat radiating from the steady palm of Dean. "Are you feeling better now?"  
"Thank you, I am." Dean's smile widened but then he froze, listening to his own thoughts. "Wait..." he went pale. "I don't hear anything..."  
"What do you mean anything?" Castiel frowned. "You obviously can hear me..."  
"I literally don't hear **any** **porn** at the moment." Dean's eyes went wide as he focused his sight on Castiel. "Even the-book-that-shall-never-be-mentioned."  
"What book?" Castiel got distracted.  
"The one that almost killed me. I won't say the title, I don't even want to think it ever again." Dean shook his head nervously. "But it's gone now. The whole radio is off."  
"How?" Castiel felt Dean dig nails into his skin.

Dean didn't answer, concentration written all over his face. After a while he looked at Cas again.  
"I can't teleport." he uttered silently with shock. "My powers are gone."  
"You sure?" Castiel blinked rapidly, his brain working on the highest gear.  
"I am terribly, horribly sure." Dean's voice was gravely. "I just don't know how on Earth..."  
"It's simple." someone interrupted him.

Castiel and Dean looked towards the source of the voice.  
"Dean Winchester, you have failed us." the man who spoke was tall and older than both of them, his hair gray and eyes ice cold.  
"Alastair..." Dean mouthed.  
"Hello, Dean." Alastair smiled with self-serving. "I regret that we have to meet under such unpleasant circumstances."  
"What's happening to me?" Dean squeezed Castiel's forearm to the point it became painful but Castiel didn't even hiss.  
"You've been degraded, Dean." Alastair pretended he was sad. "You allowed the publication of _20 Hues of Gay_ to happen and you don't deserve to name yourself a Slash Sheriff any longer. You brought shame to all of us therefore your powers had been taken from you. I'm sorry to be the one informing you about this, I've always thought you could become the best Slash Sheriff in the long history of the Slash Department."

Dean was dumbstruck. He opened and closed his mouth few times but no words had left it.  
Alastair realised he wouldn't get any answer so he shrugged, raised his hand to his forehead in a parody of a salut and then disappeared, leaving both Dean and Castiel in a deep shock.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm terribly sorry for the delay. I had a shitload of things to do for my university over past two weeks, hope you understand that...

Dean looked at Castiel with an expression of a total lack of understanding. Castiel didn't know what to say so he decided just to look supportive and hope that Dean would get over it somehow.  
"Did he just...?" Dean was trembling. "Do I...? Did they...?"  
"I'm sorry, Dean." Castiel sighed. "It seems that all of this happened for real."  
"So I..." Dean looked at his palms. "I am no longer a Sheriff?"  
Castiel just placed a hand on his shoulder, realising how much he probably sucked at comforting.  
"I don't have my powers..." Dean whispered with disbelief.  
"You still have your kowledge though." Castiel pointed out. "And you got rid of the radio. There are some pros, you know..." he smiled.

"You don't get it, do you?" Dean squinted, looking at him. "It's nothing to be happy about. Dishonor fell on me and my name forever will remain a synonym of a failure. "I can't allow that."  
"Is there anything you can do about this then?" Castiel decided to give up on persuasion and calm Dean down first.  
"I need to redeem myself." Dean sounded determined. "I need to prove that I'm a true Slash Sheriff even without my powers. I need to stop... that book."  
Castiel blinked few times surprised by Dean's commitment.

Who would suspect that gay porn was such a serious business?

***

Castiel observed Dean prepare himself apparently for a battle. He just couldn't believe that Dean **actually wanted** all of this shit back because of some honour issues.  
Dean adjusted his clothes and hair, examining himself in a big mirror on the door of the wardrobe.  
"Dean..." Castiel finally couldn't stand staying silent any longer.  
"Yes?" Dean glanced at him, his green eyes strangely cold.  
"What are you exactly going to do?" Castiel was surprised by his own worry.  
"I'm going to stop the author." Dean's voice was harsh. "At all costs."  
 _Oh God..._ Castiel imagined Dean as a killing machine.  
A minute later Dean was finally satisfied with his looks and went on towards the door, trying to pass Castiel by but Cas grabbed his arm stopping him.  
"Dean..." he said. "You don't have to do this."  he tried to sound reasonable, not as panicked as he really was.  
"I do." Dean shook his head. "I do have to do this, Cas."

Castiel looked up at Dean Winchester and for the first time in his life he felt unpleasantly helpless. He didn't understand Dean and his persistence to stay dutiful even though it meant losing a chance for normality and happiness. He didn't get Dean who seemed to be hating him but then admitted to have thought him a friend and now was sacrificing himself for the sake of a duty.  
Everything about Dean Winchester was unusual and making Castiel's logical mind go nuts. It was terrifying and fascinating at the same time, it made his cold heart actually beat faster, even if just out of curiosity mixed with sexual attraction. Castiel really didn't want Dean to waste his chance for a normal life because that was what it was. The loss of his powers made him a mere human.  
A human who actually could have a thing called a life.  
Castiel didn't understand why Dean would want to give up on it.

Dean was staring at him impatiently as all those thoughts were running through Castiel's head. He was waiting for Cas to let go but Castiel didn't want to do this. Castiel couldn't allow this. He looked into Dean's eyes challengingly and then rapidly pulled Dean's arm, making him lose balance and fall right into Castiel's arms and a passionate kiss.

Dean was obviously shocked, his eyes wide open and cheeks quickly becoming red. Castiel shut his eyes as he cupped Dean's face and held onto him for the dear life. Eventually Dean melted into it, instinctively kissing Castiel back, placing himself on his lap comfortably and crossing his arms behind Castiel's neck.  
When they parted, a long sigh left Dean's mouth.  
"Stay with me..." whispered Cas as they locked gazes.  
"I can't." Dean shook his head.  
"Look, Dean." Castiel stroke Dean's cheeks with his thumbs. "This is your chance for a better future. You hate this job, don't you?"  
"I do but..." Dean hesitated, leaning into Castiel's caress.  
"No buts unless their 't' is double and they belong to you." Castiel shook his head, smirking a little. "Seriously, you finally can have a normal life! No more shitty fanfiction torturing you, no more cockblocking. There will be just you and... me." Castiel bit his tongue but the word had already been spoken so naturally and he was blushing hard.  
He absolutely didn't mean to say anything like that, he didn't mean to suggest that maybe there was more to it than just lust and yet it happened and Dean's eyes went wide.  
 _Fuck. Me. Sideways._ Castiel licked his lip nervously.

Slowly some kind of determination appeared in Dean's eyes. He had made his decision and Castiel felt strangely small under his hellbent gaze.  
He hated that feeling.  
He loved it.  
Dean grabbed Castiel's head, buring his fingers in the dark hair and closed the gap between them with a kind of forcefulness that made Castiel's head spin. Cas had always thought himself dominant but Dean was so easily possessing him, making him melt into his arms and give in to his reign.  
Dean's tongue entered Castiel's mouth as if he owned it and Castiel didn't fight back because damn, how good it felt to finally belong to someone who was not afraid to take over the control.

Finally Dean pulled back, his lips swollen and eyes flickering with lust.  
"I have to do just this one thing and then I'll come back here and fuck the living shit out of you." his voice was husky as he looked into Castiel's eyes.  
"What's so important?" Castiel tried not to sound like a whiny bitch but the vision of a longer wait for Dean to fuck him...  
"I have to save the world again." Dean grinned. "Not a big deal."  
"What?" Castiel was truly distracted by the sudden shift of power between them.  
"I gotta stop the rewriting of  _20 Hues of Gay_." he said. "And then..." he raised his brows. "We will have lots of more interesting things to do..."

Castiel looked at Dean as if he saw him for the first time.  
Few weeks ago Castiel Novak was the sassiest jerk in the city who happened to possess enough charisma and sexappeal to be amongst those egotic assholes who actually had every reason to be full of themselves, choosing their partners like pieces of clothing, being with whoever they fancied and whenever they wished to.  
Not only was Dean the first person Castiel thought of as unwilling to have sex with him but he was also the first one to make Castiel actually want to give up on few things for the sake of a real relationship.  
It was unbelievable.  
The only more unbelievable thing in Castiel's life was what he said next.  
"I'm coming with you." he uttered.

And he meant it.


	6. Chapter 6

_Why must have I been such an idiot?_ Castiel asked himself, shivering in the cool air.  
He huffed, watching his breath turn into a tiny cloud. He really regretted his decision more and more with every passing second. Dean was too concentrated on his task to notice the wintry atmosphere and the fact that his friend was freezing to death. Castiel didn't complain, trying to prove he was manly and strong while he actually wouldn't mind if Dean hugged him tight and shared his warmth with him.

Dean leaned out from behind the post and looked at the house they were going to invade. Not only did they have to spend a whole day driving a stolen car to get there but they also had to wait in this deadly cold until the author left her home which happend long after the sunset.  
"Okay." Dean was visibly excited. "Let's get it done." he grabbed the metal bars of the gate and started climbing up.  
"Are you serious?" Castiel made a terrified face. "I can't fucking climb!"  
"So there is something that you can't do! Ha!" Dean reached the top of the gate and sat there, grinning and looking down at Cas.  
Castiel squinted immediately, clenching his jaw. One thing was to admit that he didn't possess a certain ability but pointing at it was an entirely different story.  
No one could think of Castiel Novak as a synonym of any weakness.

Castiel looked at Dean with challenge in his eyes and gripped the bars. He stretched his body, feeling his shirt and coat going up and leaving his skin bare to the touch of the wintry wind. With a new wave of determination he made an effort to lift himself up, searching for a support for his feet. He smiled triumphantly as his foot found a place to rest. He shifted his weight to lean on that leg when the support suddenly disappeared.  
For a short second Castiel really thought he might die, falling one and a half meter down onto his butt but before he managed to say goodbye to this cruel world, Dean grabbed his arm and held him up in the place.  
"Come on, dude." he said, grimacing as Castiel's weight strained his muscles. "Up, up!"

The adrenaline was rushing in Castiel's veins after his small near-death experience so he almost flew the next two meters up, joining Dean on top of the gate.  
"Ha, I made it!" he showed Dean his tongue.  
"Not without a little help." Dean was massaging his arms.  
"That doesn't count. I didn't ask for your assistance." Castiel raised one brow, daring Dean to protest.  
"Whatever." Dean rolled his eyes. "We gotta get down on the other side before my balls freeze permanently to the metal." he looked down, examining the ground below them.  
"Maybe..." a smug smirk appeared on Castiel's face. "they need a little... warm up?" he placed a hand on Dean's crotch.  
Unfortunately he forgot that he was literally freezing few seconds earlier so it cought him by surprise when Dean jerked back at the cold touch and losing his balance grabbed Castiel's coat, pulling them both down onto the ground.

Three and a half meters of a flight were enough for Castiel to rethink his life choices. Next thing he knew was that he landed on Dean, pushing the whole air out of his lungs.  
 _I'm dead and I went to hell..._ thought Dean, finding it strangely hard to breathe.  
Then his sight focused on Castiel's shocked face above him.  
"Get off me, you fatass!" he muttered angrily and pushed Castiel forcefully.  
Castiel was still in shock and bonelessly rolled towards the gate, hitting on it and... opening it easily.  
"Oh, you've gotta be kidding me!" Dean massaged the back of his head, hissing in pain.

***

The door to the author's room opened slowly with a thetrically loud squeek. Dean rolled his eyes, feeling like a character in a cheap fic that tries to pretend it has a plot. The room was dark and silent so he stepped forward, followed by Castiel who wasn't cowardly hiding behind his back at all.  
The moonlight was falling onto a pile of papers that lay peacefully on a big mahogany desk. Even without his powers Dean could feel the pure evil radiating from those pages. He shivered and shook his head nervously, trying to get rid of unpleasant sensations. He felt Castiel's hand on the small of his back and turned his head to smile at him thankfully although it was still cold.  
Their gazes met and even in the darkness Dean could see the blue of Castiel's eyes and a flicker that told him more than he was ready to know.  
He opened his mouth to say something but before he uttered a single word he heard a click coming from the direction of the desk.

Dean saw Castiel's face going pale and slowly turned around afraid to learn what was there.  
The little lamp that stood on the desk was now lit, revealing the face of a person who was comfortably sitting in a big armchair behind it.  
Dean recognized that face immediately. It was staring at him for years from the cover of his history textbook.  
"The Wayward Sheriff..." he whispered.  
"At your service..." the bald head was creepily shining in the artificial light of the lamp. "Dean..."


	7. Chapter 7

The Wayward Sheriff stood up and Dean took a step back unwittingly.  
"You really thought that I'm just some sort of a legend, didn't you?" he said, walking from behing the desk. "They say they had dealt with me but it's all just simple PR. They don't wanna freak people out."  
"How...?" Dean mouthed fearfully.  
"How did I survive uncaught? How do I know your name? How did I get here? Is this what you wanna know, Dean?" the man grinned. "My real name was never in those books, was it?"  
"N-no." Dean was backing away until he felt Castiel grabbing his arms and pulling him close to his chest.  
"I'm Samuel Campbell." his grin became even wider. "I am the father of Mary Campbell. The same Mary Campbell that married John Winchester and gave birth to a son burdened with **my** legacy."  
"It's impossible..." Dean shook his head with disbelief.  
"But it's true, my grandson." Samuel was now standing closer to Dean, right in front of him. "And deep in your heart you know that. You know because you already betrayed the Slash Department. Just like I did."  
"No." Dean didn't like his voice sounding so weak. "Not like you." he felt anger raising in his chest. "I am nothing like you. You did it on purpose, you created the false information about gay sex letting them spread amongst the fangirls and 'til this day we deal with some of your legendary crap." Dean squinted. "I did fail, I can't deny it but I didn't do it because I wanted to create chaos like you did." he pointed at his grandfather accusingly. "You did it because you are a sick fuck. I did it because..." Dean hesitated and glanced at Castiel. "because I had fallen in love." he felt his cheeks going red and the back of his neck itch as Castiel's gaze was burning him.

Samuel remained silent for a while, just looking Dean in the eyes and then he bursted out with laughter. The sound of it was sending shivers down the spines of both men as it was a laughter of a real madman.   
"You may be a tragically romantic love-sick puppy" Samuel spoke, regaining his composure. "but it doesn't change the fact that your failure is enough to make this whole porn-guarding institution fall. I created this monster." he pointed at the pile of papers. But it was you who let it be born and grow up, grow strong. I'm so proud of you, Dean." Samuel made a delighted face.  
"You..." Dean gulped. "created it?"  
"Yes." Samuel was proud of himself. "Did you honestly think anyone would print this pile of crap? I paid for it and now it's gonna flood the world, feasting on all the uneducated, horny people around the globe! It's so perfectly evil..." he shed a tear.  
"You really are sick." Dean made a disgusted face, feeling his heart sink as he saw the truth in Samuel's words.

He really screwed up more than he could imagine and he did that because of one writer, one man.   
A man with beautiful blue eyes, annoying character, and perfectly dirty mind.

A man who was standing behind him, still until the very moment when Dean confessed he actually had some feelings for him.

As shocking as it was for Castiel, it also gave him courage he knew he would later regret having.  
Castiel Novak realised that the enemy was too concentrated on Dean and his own evil plans to notice him and his actions so he slowly squatted, hiding behind Dean to get out of sight of the apparently famous in the slash business baddie.  
In the dim light he took a look around and almost choked on his own tongue as he noticed that Samuel made a basic villian's mistake.  
The Wayward Sheriff (or whatever they called him) was standing on a pelt of visibly displeased bear while Dean was safely sticking to the solid wooden floor.   
The opportunity was too comical not to act on it.  
Castiel leaned forward between Dean's bowed legs and before a single 'wtf' had been said he pulled the pelt forcefully, making it slip from beneath Samuel's feet and causing the great fall of the bad man.

Samuel produced a short cry of confusion and fell onto the ground, hitting his head on the desk on his way and succesfully knocking himself unconscious. Castiel laughed triumphantly, staying in his awkward position between Dean's legs.  
"Dude..." few seconds had passed before Dean regained his ability to speak. "That was awesome."  
"I know, just as I am." Castiel looked up at Dean, ignoring the prostests of his muscles.  
Dean looked as if he wanted to say something but was at a loss of words so he just licked his lips, staring at Cas. They remained like that until Castiel couldn't stand the pain in his neck any longer and had to back away into a more comfortable position.

Dean turned around to look at him still speechless but gathering the courage to say one of those meaningful lifechanging things when he heard a silent 'pop' and Alastair appeared next to fallen Samuel.  
"Excellent!" he clapped his hands. "We suspected that this little shit, no offence, might have something to do with this but never expected to catch him or even stop the printing on time. And yet you did both!" he smiled sincerely and hugged Dean who was standing there frozen to the spot. "You are my worthy student, Dean. You can have everything back, your powers, your work and even more! You can have your very own intervention group! You can be a Supreme!"

Dean felt the tears gathering under his eyelids. Having some people at hand, becoming the Supreme Slash Sheriff was his dream ever since he had started his education. He was no longer a failure nor the heir of the Wayward Sheriff, he was a hero who would be worshipped forever and he did all of that...  
Wait...  
He didn't do **any** of that.  
Castiel defeated the ultimate slash evil.  
Castiel saved them and the whole universe.

Castiel...

Castiel who didn't want him to go back to his old miserable life.   
Castiel who was now looking at him with sad eyes and nodding as if he knew that those were all of Dean's dreams coming true...  
Except for the fact that those were no longer his dreams.  
Now he was dreaming of something else.

"No." he said, making Alastair freeze. "I don't want any of this."  
"What?!" Alastair and Castiel were both shocked.  
"No." repeated Dean.  
"What are you even trying to say?" Alastair searched for any signs of madness on Dean's face.  
"That I don't want any of those things that you are offering." Dean sounded adamant, happiness and freedom raising in his whole body. "I don't want my powers back, I don't want my work or the promotion. I wanna stay human, here, with Cas." he smiled and looked at Castiel who was holding his breath.

Alastair blinked few times and then just shrugged.  
"Okay, whatever... You are the hero here and a free man." he said slightly disappointed. "Your replacement tells funnier jokes anyway."  
Dean rolled his eyes, huffing silently. He didn't dare to look back at Cas but felt the burning gaze devouring his whole body.  
Alastair bent over the unconsious Samuel and lifted him as if he wasn't a tall grown up man.  
"I'm gonna take him where he belongs." he said. "I don't have time to stick around though, would you be so kind to burn this abomination called _20 Hues of Gay_?"  
"Sure." Dean grinned with grim satisfaction.  
"Thank you." Alastair turned around, preparing to leave. "One more thing, Dean."  
"Yes?" Dean just wanted him to be gone already.  
"Our door are always open for you." Alastair smiled, looking at him. "See you around." he winked.  
"I hope not..." Dean muttered.  
Alastair's laughter was still resounding in the room even after he was gone.


	8. Chapter 8

Dean was afraid of this moment equally as much as he was waiting for it. He inhaled deeply and turned around only to find an empty spot where Castiel was standing before. He frowned and whirled around to see his friend standing by the desk.  
"Come on, Dean." Castiel didn't even look at him. "We gotta burn this... thing." he lifted some of the papers.  
Dean blinked few times but seeing Cas throw his burden into the fireplace, he moved along to bring another part of the feral fic where it belonged.  
Once all of it was placed safely in the right location, Castiel pulled out a box of matches and started a fire.

In a complete silence they sat down and observed the very definition of 'wrong' being consumed by the flames.  
Finally Cas sighed and raised his head to look out of the window at the night sky.  
"Look," his voice was silent but happy. "it's snowing!"  
Dean needed a while to proceed that unexpected information but once his brain made a link to reality, he followed Castiel's gaze and gasped at the beauty before his eyes. The tiny snowflakes were dancing in the air with a silently joyfull calmness, their act stunning in its simplicity.  
"Mesmerizing…" whispered Castiel. "I used to write poems about the tinest things of beauty. There is something hearbreakingly powerful about them."  
"I would love to read your poems one day..." Dean said softly, his sight focusing on Castiel.

Castiel turned his head an their gazes met for the first time since Alastair's arrival.

"Dean..." Castiel's pupils were dilated in the dim light that the burning book of abominations provided.  
"Cas..." Dean still didn't really know what to say.  
"Why did you choose me?" Castiel whispered faintly.  
"I promised to fuck you, didn't I?" Dean smiled sheepishly. "The Slash Sheriff always keeps his word."  
"Phew, I expected you to say something romantic..." Castiel sniffed. "You know, like **falling in love** stuff or whatever..."  
Dean chuckled. "Isn't fucking romantic?" he leaned towards Cas, stopping inches from his face, the fire glistening in his eyes.  
"Well, I guess it depends." Castiel licked his lips. "For example in shitty fanfiction..."  
Dean placed a finger on Castiel's mouth to silence him. "Does my life really have to be all about crappy fics?" he raised his brow. "What if it really is? Maybe all of this is just a story born in some sexually frustrated girl's head?"  
Castiel inhaled sharply, wanting to say something but Dean pressed a chaste kiss on his lips.  
"Guess we will never know..." Dean's voice was full of melancholy.  
"There is one thing we can know for sure." Castiel finally had a chance to speak. "We can confirm at least that it isn't shitty."  
"How?" Dean was fascinated by the way that Castiel was tilting his head.  
"Slowly..." Cas narrowed his eyes and licked Dean's lower lip. "Intimately..." he started sucking on it, purring silently.  
Dean closed his eyes marvelling at all the sensations, Cas kissing and undressing him, the warm touch of heat that radiated from the fire, the smell of Castiel's cologne and chilly winter air…

Intoxicating...

"Cas..." he whispered once they were both almost naked, Castiel kissing every inch of the skin on his stomach.  
"Yes, Dean?" Castiel raised his head, his dark hair gloriously messy and so sexy that Dean had to remind himself that he wanted to say something.  
"I meant it." he finally uttered. "I have fallen in love with you."  
"I know." a soft smile bent Castiel's lips. "And so have I."

Before Dean could respond properly, Castiel was pushing his boxers down and pressing first delicate kisses on his erected cock. Dean yelped silently as Castiel's tongue teased the head swiping over the slit and making his dick throb. Castiel's mouth was warm and felt so much better than Dean's own hand wrapped around the shaft. Dean shivered, arching his back and thrusting up unwittingly, insatiably hungry for more of Cas.  
"Oh, Dean..." Castiel pulled back and looked into the green eyes with a joyful smile. "You were oh-so-bossy about fucking me before but now you are just a melting virgin who wants to come so badly..." he licked his lips seductively. "It's so cute."  
"Oh, shut up." Dean fought to regain control over his body.  
"Shall I take you then?" Castiel blinked innocently.  
"Maybe next time, baby." Dean suddenly jumped forward, pushing Castiel onto the ground before the fireplace and crushing his lips in a forceful kiss.

Castiel giggled, feeling Dean's cock leaking onto his stomach as Dean grinded against him. "What a tiger! I like that!"  
"What an asshole." Dean grunted, creating a crimson hickey on Castiel's neck.  
"At least it's an asshole with some lube." Castiel bit Dean's ear playfully while his hand reached towards his discarded pants to pull out a small packet.  
"God, so you are into shitty puns..." Dean sighed and kissed the corner of Castiel's mouth.  
"Everyone has some vices." Castiel chuckled, trying not to moan as Dean started slowly pumping his cock.  
"Well, keep your mouth shut then and you'll be an ideal." Dean winked.  
"I am already an ideal, you assbutt." the last word turned into a silent cry as Dean squeezed him harder.

Dean purred with satisfaction and pulled the lube out of Castiel's hand to cover his fingers and slowly stretch his lover. Castiel got silent for good, trying to stop the moans and thrusting onto Dean's digits to get more, feel more inside of him.  
"Take me, Dean..." were his next breathless words and Dean had to kiss those lips, so sweet with that plea on them.  
He had read everything about sex that was there to read but in the moment that Castiel's muscles clenched around him for the first time he realised that no words could accurately describe this feeling.  
All the alphabets together didn't have enough signs to paint a picture sufficiently vivid to show that unity, the soft sounds of skin rubbing on skin, the tiniest pants and whispers, every precise movements of their muscles working together to bring them over the edge.  
No, even Castiel didn't have enough skill to describe what Dean felt, seeing Cas come spinning down from his peak, moaning Dean's name and shooting the hot ropes of cum that Dean wanted to taste so badly. There was no way, neither explicit nor poetic, to let the reader experience what Dean did when he made his last thrust, feeling his cock graze Castiel's prostate right before filling him with Dean's come.

"I need to clarify something." he said, falling bonelessly next to Castiel, thinking that no one had ever dared to write about the shameless beauty of the sound of two satisfied bodies getting tangled up again in the sweet afterglow. "I didn't tell you the whole truth." Dean looked into Castiel's eyes and suddenly realised that there was always an unbelievably easy way to avoid the responsibility coming along with the thorough description of emotions and desires - narrowing a neverending poem to three simple words that were so threadbare they really should sound ridiculous in the 21st century. "I love you."

And yet apparently they still didn't because Castiel couldn't hide a joyful smile that slowly appeared on his face and enlightened his eyes.


End file.
